A month or so ago, I found I was suffering from four Hs: I had an outbreak of herpes, sported hives all over my body and, wonderfully, also discovered I'd developed haemorrhoids. Oh the joy.Well, yeah: more of your typical case of more than anyone (well, me especially) really needed to know about him.
The fourth "H" was heartbreak, ostensibly the cause of the first three Hs, as I mourned the loss of daily contact with my daughter since splitting with my partner late last year.
But today's post from Sam (featured prominently at the top of the SMH: I do not visit him as a matter of routine) :
I suppose we should be grateful that he won't answer break up questions, but honest to God, what else is there in his life that we don't know already?For all of today - that's Friday - from roughly 9am until 5pm, I will endeavour to answer every question or comment posted on the blog.
Soooo, if you have a question or a topic idea, write a comment and I'll do my best to reciprocate. I won't, however, be answering questions about my break-up or daughter.
If you'd like any advice on writing, journalism, getting published, getting into TV script-writing, blogging or how to shag chicks, I'll be happy to offer what help I can.
And why would anyone ask relationship questions of a man still effectively in the middle of his own breakup?
Yet, when I read the comments, there are many Sam admirers, who seem to find his take on all things male helpful. This says something worrying about modern social mores and Australian men, I'm sure, even though Sam's main life insight (as far as I can tell - see the very title of his blog) is that men shouldn't lie to women to get them into bed.
Which leads me to this agony aunt question he got today:
I'm currently dating a chick. She's the prettiest girl i've ever gotten this close to - i am totally physically smitten with her, and with her demeanour.
We have plenty in common, but also we're quite different.
Things are progessing well, but i have a little doubt in the back of my mind.
what do i do man?
- baz
Shag a lot. See what happens. Don't tell her you love her. Don't get her pregnant. - Sam
Err, I think I've detected a little problem here with Sam's understanding of women.
Doesn't everyone know that "shagging a lot" with any woman, regardless of whether the guy says he loves her or not, will invariably lead to the woman assuming he loves her. Jeez, wasn't this even the subject of a recent Natalie Portman movie? Sure, some women will say this won't happen to them, but it's biology. Men must assume it will happen.
Therefore, to recommend "lots of shagging" without any care as to how it will be interpreted is effectively to promote another form of lying.
So it's a big F (for Fail) in my assessment of his advice; but we knew that already.
As a sort of footnote, I extract this bit from another recent post of his I read today:
I was walking down the street a few weeks back and, vain creature that I am, checked myself out in the side window of a parked car and saw something quite disturbing.I don't know, I wouldn't be completely surprised if Sam wasn't someone who's going to have a middle aged or late life sexual identity crisis. If he did, we would hear about it in all the gory psychological detail, I'm sure.
As I moved, my chest was jiggling. Not heaving up and down like we're told a manly pectoral should, but jiggling, like a ... breast...
The next day I bought myself a pair of bathroom scales and stared down at them, dumbfounded: I was 100 kilograms.
Two years ago I weighed 86 kilograms and belonged to group of men I call "Quickdraws" because, as soon as there's a hint of sunshine, I had my shirt off to flex and strut.
And I'll repeat my main problem with this: anyone's free to run their own blog about their own life in any detail they want. What really gets my goat is that this is a mainstream media blog carried by Fairfax. It wouldn't have happened when I were a lad!
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