An odd Buddhist thing

Here's something that I did not know about Buddhism.  (Or some Buddhists.)

I just had someone explaining to me that they would want their death (assuming it is from a terminal  illness) to be according to Buddhist principles, which are that a dying person does not have their close family around the death bed, for concern that it makes them more reluctant to give up their spirit (or consciousness, or whatever.)  Apparently, the Buddhist way is that it is OK to have a couple of Buddhist people who aren't close to you in the room saying prayers, but the family (spouse included) stays outside.   I asked about pain relief, and he said no, Buddhists are supposed to work through the pain as part of the natural order of things.  (!)  Having a clear  mind at the point of death is important as it can affect the metaphysical outcome.  So, no morphine for dying Buddhist cancer sufferers, apparently.

I have no time to check today how widespread within Buddhism this view is.  I do not know well the person who was telling me this, but he seemed to be well into Buddhist belief.   It's certainly pretty unappealing to our Western ideas of the value of close relatives being with their loved one as they die.

I wonder:  I am aware that the Japanese medical system, in certain respects, is much less into pain relief than we are in Australia.   (Endoscopy into the stomach with no twilight sedation;  have to go to a special birth clinic if you expect gas or epidural to give pain relief.)   Is this partly because of Buddhist pain stoicism?

Update:  on the matter of pain relief, here is an extract from a nursing website discussing it in 2003.   The attitude of the person I was speaking to today is very consistent with this:

QUESTION: My patient is a Buddhist with end-stage colon cancer who keeps refusing pain medication. How can I help him manage his pain without infringing on his religious beliefs?

ANSWER: Buddhism is an Eastern religion that's taken root in the United States. Its followers have a unique perspective on pain. Buddhists believe that suffering is part of life, to be expected, and that if a person experiences pain calmly, without becoming emotionally distressed, he can attain greater states of being.

Preparation for death is an important part of Buddhism. Many religious practices focus on the moment of death and the immediate transition to the next life. Because Buddhists believe the mind must be as alert as possible at the time of death, many may decline pain medication or limit its use.

Pain assessment for a Buddhist patient is the same as for any other patient. And, as with any patient, you should understand his pain control goals. A Buddhist patient may wish to withhold or limit the use of drugs that can cause drowsiness, such as opioids, so educate him about pain control choices that won't interfere with his goals. (Explain that drowsiness, for example, subsides after the first few days of opioid use.)

Use the World Health Organization pain ladder to step up analgesic therapy for pain control. Using adjuvant medications, such as nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, lets you give lower doses of opioids and so limit adverse opioid reactions, such as drowsiness. Obtain orders for additional pain relief, even if the patient initially declines it. You'll be ready to provide immediate relief if his pain suddenly intensifies and he changes his mind. Be sure to document his statements about pain control interventions and goals and monitor the effectiveness of any alternative interventions used.

From a Buddhist perspective, pain can be offered as a sacrifice to benefit all beings and has long-term benefits in reaching a higher state of consciousness. Your patient may wish to perform religious rituals such as quiet reflection, chanting, meditation, and prayer. Allow him periods of time alone for these rituals.

Quiet reflection is one of the most important practices for Buddhists. Help the patient create a small space in his room for pictures of religious leaders or ancestors, prayer beads, and flowers. This area helps him focus his energy and can help him manage pain.

Chanting involves quietly repeating specific prayers or mantras many times. Other members of the religious community may participate in this practice with the patient. If he can't chant himself, the family may bring in tapes from services, which you can play for him during the day. An alternative intervention is to encourage him to slowly breathe deeply and focus on inhalation and exhalation.

Meditation can provide the most satisfying and effective religious expression for Buddhists. Allow the patient quiet time to empty his mind of thoughts, or to visualize specific images, depending on his tradition. If possible, put him in a room away from noisy areas, such as the nurses' station. Document your interventions to show that you're individualizing the patient's care plan. Contact religious representatives as requested by the patient.

Gee.  If I was a Western nurse/doctor, I would probably be a tad annoyed that I had to go to a lot more trouble with a Buddhist patient than just dosing them up with enough pain relief that they stop feeling pain.