Shrimp don't care for CO2

Long-term effects of predicted future seawater CO2 conditions on the survival and growth of the marine shrimp Palaemon pacificus

Another day, another report of an experiment in which a marine creature is shown to be adversely affected by high levels of CO2 in the atmosphere:

The present results demonstrate for the first time that the predicted future seawater CO2 conditions would potentially reduce shrimp, and possibly other crustacean, populations through negatively affecting mortality, growth, and reproduction. This could threaten entire marine ecosystem through disrupting marine food web.

News will be greeted by the sounds of crickets chirping in the audience.