We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in a theater (or on your couch), the credits roll, and you’re left wondering if you accidentally watched a different movie than the critics did. At the Opinion Dominion, we don't give out participation trophies for "ambition." If the engine doesn't start, the car doesn't move—no matter how pretty the paint job is.
Today, I’m putting two "untouchables" on the chopping block.
1. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
The world called it a "symphony of motion." I called it an exhausting, two-hour desert trek that forgot to pack a script.
I’m told the "visual storytelling" is the point. I’m told the practical effects are the hero. But at some point, I need a reason to care about the people inside the vibrating metal boxes. Without a narrative pulse, Fury Road is just high-budget noise. It’s a technical achievement, sure, but as a movie? I’m still waiting for the plot to kick in.
2. The Truman Show (1998)
This is usually the part where someone says, "But the philosophy! The allegory for the media!" I get it. The idea of The Truman Show is fascinating. But the execution? It’s a tonal mess that collapses the moment you ask a single logical question. We are expected to believe a global corporation spent thirty years and billions of dollars on a simulation that could be ruined by a falling light or a localized rain shower?
Jim Carrey is doing his best, but the movie is so busy being "profound" that it forgets to be believable. It feels like a high-concept "Twilight Zone" episode stretched thin until it breaks. I didn't feel enlightened; I felt preached at by a movie that wasn't as smart as it thought it was.
3. Uncut Gems (2019)
Critics praised this movie for being "stressful" and "anxiety-inducing." Since when did a panic attack become a substitute for a good story? Watching Adam Sandler’s Howard Ratner make the same catastrophic mistake for two hours isn't "visceral filmmaking"—it’s repetitive and irritating.
There is no character arc here; there is just a man shouting over electronic music until the movie finally, mercifully, ends. If I wanted to feel stressed and annoyed by someone else's bad financial decisions, I’d just check my Twitter feed for free.
The Bottom Line: A "great concept" is just a sketch. A "technical marvel" is just a demo. If the soul isn't there, I’m not buying the ticket.
I know, I know—I’m "missing the point." Or maybe the point just wasn't that sharp to begin with. Which "classic" do you secretly (or loudly) despise? Let’s burn some bridges in the comments.
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